The Cell Phone

My boss sent me home today with a temporary cell phone to test a new carrier's service while we consider switching.  As I sat in my living room tonight trying to decide who I was going to call, composing emails that said things like "Hey, I'm using a different phone, so answer when I call from a different (815) number," I had another thought.

Maybe I should take the opportunity, the number that nobody recognizes, to place a few other phone calls.  Maybe I won't get any answers, because nobody answers unknown numbers anymore, but the people on my list might be more likely to answer an unknown than me.

I'm petty, but of course I'd start with 555-WOOD, the relationship that ended because of the telephone, because he got a crank phone call to his stupidly spelled phone number, and assumed that I was behind it.  At first it was annoying, and then later creepy, around the time he started calling the authorities, convinced his phone was tapped.  Now, of course, it's hilarious.  But I would definitely give anything to have one more conversation with him, to ask him what the heck he was thinking, and whether all of that tinfoil-hatted nonsense was worth losing me.

There are two women I'd call.  One, because I miss her voice.  I miss everything about her.  I wish she was still part of my life and I think about her every single day.  The other, because I'd like to tell her what I really think about the sheer amount of my time that she wasted with her selfish, unending, ridiculous, self-induced drama.

Wait, maybe three women.  Maybe.  Because I'd really like to hear the other side of an old story.  Or maybe not.

Then I'd call Jake, because there's no conversation with Jake that lasts less than four hours.  Nothing to test battery life like Jake.

And then I should call Kelly.  I owe her.

Last, I'd call Delilah and have her dedicate a song to me.

Who would you call with a temporary phone number?