So I turned my profile on at OKcupid, which is a giant free dating site. It is part Wal-Mart, part furry convention, part poetry slam. I am not actively searching for anything, but I figured I'd turn my profile back on and just see what happens.
Within your OKcupid profile, you can link to other users' profiles. Because, 4 years later, I still haven't heard the end of it from Marc for having a "jazz in the park" line in my last online dating profile, my new profile lists one of my talents as "annoying Marc with pretentious references to jazz music" and links to his profile. Which is awesome, because then not only do I get to see who visits me, but Marc does too, because it registers all of these men in the Rockford area clicking through to look at him, probably hoping that his username links to a hot chick.
Another curious feature of OKcupid is the match/friend/enemy percentages that it calculates. For every profile that I look at, it gives me a message that says "You are _% match, __% friend, ___% enemy."
I think people in the offline realm should be labeled as such as well.
-----
Jane: I've been talking to [this guy's profile link]
Marc: tall dude. also, not a good match for me
Jane: he's very very tall. but also hilarious.
Marc: i noticed he owns an automobile. or at least stands near them
Jane: And a gun.
Marc: a couple of them. there is a nearly 40% chance he might kill me with those guns. do you want that on your conscience?
Jane: but there's a 100% chance that you won't hit your head on the roof of our future cars or any object in our future home.
Marc: ...go on.
Jane: wait, is the 40% just the "guns kill the wrong people" statistic, or is that a jealous man shoots you statistic?
Marc: enemy %
Jane: OH. yeah, he's my 25% enemy also. I think it's because of his answer to the gay marriage question, which I already have him wavering on. however. he loves cats.
Marc: but you seem to enjoy relationships with a bit of drama, so maybe that's good?
Jane: all of my 98% matches, 0% enemies live in Portland or Seattle.
Marc: I KNOW. San Francisco and Brooklyn are where all my 97%+ers seem to live
Jane: it could be worse. I mean, what if I found out that all of my soulmates were in Topeka or Wichita
Marc: or lawrence KS
Jane: YES
Marc: where there is a 98/92/0% of mine
Jane: ha ha. maybe she's not a hipster girly, maybe she's just authentically unironically wearing hand-me-downs and riding a broken bicycle?
Marc: she's way over being a hipster. she was a hipster before it was cool. she's like 2 years ahead of everything cool, and I'm the only one who understands.
Jane: I was technically like 12 years ahead of hipsterism. I wore a lot of pearl-buttoned cowboy shirts in high school. that's my excuse from now on. ahead of the times.
Marc: yeah, there's like a 0.3% chance we would have hooked up in high school
Entries
